what is it with #snow, anyway? everyone who lives where there is such a thing falling from the sky complains about it constantly. even in the summertime when it’s somewhat warmish. wait until the #snow comes. oh the #snow kept coming late this year. didn’t even get to go camping until july this year. was so cold. and places where it doesn’t #snow? they can’t get enough of it on vacation. people are odd. it was with this in mind that i got on the plane at heathrow, thinking i’ve seen plenty of #snow in my life for a dozen lifetimes but of course i have to be heading off to alaska. why, you ask? see, now there is an intelligent question. it could even be deemed smart if you thought there was going to be a sensible answer. mostly to freeze my ass off, i believe. i’d say balls but, well, girls seem to be lacking in that department. all the guys coming, though, they will be lacking in that area if they stay outside, anyway, so i don’t feel too bad. to see the #northern #lights. what is it with #light shows? a school trip? to the frozen #north? in america? what the actual fuck are they thinking about.

eight hours. mindless boredom. darkness. more darkness. and most of a novel.

landing? sure. you could call it that but i would call it something more along the lines of ice skating in an airplane. we just seemed to hit the ground and keep going. for miles. and then walked down stairs. #truly stairs. right onto the frozen ground. it was then that it hit me. it’s winter. it’s nighttime. and it’s three in the afternoon. it doesn’t get #light here. at all. great way to get over my fear of the dark, i suppose. good thing i’m not moving here.

i #look up. there we go. now can we please get back on the plane and head home already? i can even take a picture if you like. of course not. two weeks of this shit. christmas vacation my ass. i don’t want to spend it this close to the #north pole.

a monstrous truck. that’s the only way i can describe it. it’s not a bus. but it should be. family cars here are crazy. everything is bigger in america? yes. i can see that. good thing petrol costs nothing here. this one #truly seats nine people. nine. who’s got that kind of time to have children? who wants to drive this thing? i can’t imagine trying to park this thing in london. hell, i can’t imagine trying to park this thing in a field. turning it around must take a half hour just to figure out where the back end is.

the impact is like nothing i’ve ever expected. it was #snowing. of course it was #snowing. that’s the whole point. it’s the #north. why were we going so fast? why is the road so rough? why couldn’t they see? that’s the last thought before i close my #eyes. i can’t think anymore. just cold. nothing but frigid cold. i can’t move anything.

wake up. try to wake up. open #eyes. bright #light, close #eyes again. where am i? what happened?

it’s not where, it’s when that i’m really curious about. how long has it been? i’m obviously in a clinic. there is beeping and breathing noises. #look around. you can move if you try.

i #look up. there is a glass ceiling. now i understand. the #lights. the only thing i can think before i fall back asleep is that this might actually have been worth the flight. they #truly are breathtaking. i just wish i could remember what i’m doing here…

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